baby gear / expecting mother / mommy wars / parenting / social justice

Mommy Wars: Money Edition

Parents, especially moms seem to love judging other parents for what they’re doing wrong. I pride myself on being open minded to other ways of doing things even if id never do things that way myself. Yet there are times I find myself falling into the cycle of judgment. Generally when I find myself feeling venomous towards another parent its actually because I’m feeling insecure about something in my own life and I just need to take a step back to reset. It seems like money is one area where moms can get especially snarky with each other. Mothers who don’t have a lot of money bash mothers who have money; they accuse them of spoiling their child, being wasteful, and of trying to buy their child’s affection. Mothers who have money accuse mothers without money of being irresponsible, incapable of supporting their kids, and setting their kid up for failure. I see this kind of bickering happen a lot whenever moms are talking about buying baby gear. Mothers with money often get defensive and insulting when another mother talks about preferring to buy something used or bargain brand.


Obviously I’m coming from the perspective of being young and often broke; but I don’t think this back and forth you vs. me thing is beneficial for anyone. It’s truly a lot harder to raise a kid when your financial situation is at or below the poverty line. But that does not mean you can’t give your kid(s) what they need; you just have to be more creative and strategic about getting those things. Kids from lower income families often learn how to work hard to get what they want from an early age, which certainly isn’t a bad thing. Many kids from lower income families grow up to be “successful” (whatever that subjective word means to you.) On the flip side just because a family has more money doesn’t mean that they value their career more than their kids or that they aren’t loving and present parents. With a little effort they can also teach their kids to value hard work and not be spoiled. Those parents work hard for their money so who cares if they want to spend the extra buck and get a brand new top of the line baby carrier or stroller with all the bells and whistles? As long as they aren’t looking down on moms who have a baby carrier or stroller from a yard sale, it’s all good.

Money does NOT determine if you are a good parent or not. Money does NOT determine if your kid will excel in school, sports, the arts, or whatever it is you’re hoping for them to excel in. Most importantly, money does NOT determine happiness. There are so many parents in this world who are all in different spots in their lives. It would be great if we all just supported each other and understood that we all have to do things in our own way; neither way is right or wrong, just different.


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