elopement / family / handfasting / marriage / motherhood / parenthood / pregnancy / true love / wedding on a budget / wedding planning

First comes Baby, then comes Marriage

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You don’t have to do much math to realized that I conceived a child out of wedlock, or whatever it is they’re calling it these days.  My son is 11 months old and I’ve been married for 6 months now.   I got pregnant while living on campus in college as a resident assistant.  I’m a great role model, right?  But on a serious note, I was using protection and all that – my son was just meant to be.  I’ve never regretted my unplanned pregnancy for a second, things may have happened sooner than I was prepared for but my son really helped to set my husband and I both straight.  We met at college too.  I was in this weird part of my life where I danced between the extremes of being a bad girl socialite and a good girl role model.10314764_816073155072228_8782413244760577388_n  I’ve since realized that life isn’t a t.v. show and I’m allowed to fall somewhere in the middle of those two.  My now husband, John was in a phase of his life where he was playing out the bad boy role a little too well and not being a very responsible adult. 10350604_817381781608032_7460391638066073102_n From the second I met him though, I knew I had to have him in my life.  I saw his dorky and awkward side underneath the attitude he had built up to impress people or push them away or whatever it was he was trying to do.  It’s safe to say that neither of us were looking for our lifelong companion when we met each other, but things happen how they happen.  I’m glad we met and had a baby a little too soon rather than not at all.  The first half of my pregnancy was rocky due to being emotionally and financially unprepared and we had only a few months to do years’ worth of growing up.  John did propose to me while I was pregnant, it involved a pizza, pajamas, and was absolutely what I needed at that time.  I didn’t hesitate to say yes but I made it clear I didn’t want to tie the knot until after Wesley was born. 10368234_816095971736613_4955406935261502222_n I know it’s pretty common to speed things along and get married early on in an unplanned pregnancy. 10414536_817387684940775_2431747571582617305_n But I’ve seen a lot of people go through divorce so marriage is something I had no desire to jump into blindly.  John and I both are of the belief that marriage is FOREVER.  Obviously we’re modern people and understand that there are circumstances where it makes sense for a marriage to be dissolved but that’s something we don’t ever want to have to go through if we can help it.  I knew I’d rather be a single mother than get married to someone who wasn’t the right one to be married to.  So despite pressure from the people in our lives, we waited.  Pregnancy hormones are crazy and making such an important choice while hyped up on those hormones didn’t appeal to me.  We didn’t set a date, we just went with the “long” engagement route. 10325734_817387741607436_9100431748568009459_n But turns out when my son was about 2 months old we just decided one night that we were ready.  Our wedding could probably win both the “cheapest” and “most quickly planned” awards.  With less than two months of planning for under $500 dollars we got married.  It wasn’t the most glamorous wedding in history, but it certainly suited us and is something we’ll always remember.  We rented a couple campgrounds, my Dad got his minister’s license thanks to the internet, and we didn’t tell anybody except for our immediate family until after it was down.  Our rings are sterling silver and from etsy.  A friend of mine took the pictures, made our cake, and did my hair. I wrote the handfasting ceremony myself, it was about ten minutes long, and we said our vows barefoot right on the edge of the lake with evergreen trees all around us. (John wrote his vows on post it notes.) My son was at the wedding and I love that we got to have him in our wedding pictures with us even if it meant that our wedding night wasn’t exactly sexy.  I’m so glad that we had our baby first and then got married, it was the right way to go for us.

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